so, according to lichan id be the 'biggest azn wanker dude'......

but if i was a guy...

id totally rock this hair. yieaaaaaah^^

old people.

one thing i learned today from my first external geriatrics visit in waterloo:

1. old, slightly senile women and men who talk to themselves are really, really hard to examine.

2. nearly as much as little kids.

3 at least little kids respond to bright lights and dont mumble to themselves.

...sigh. hope i get used to this...

wishlist 2009

[11.10.08]finally, i have time to do this - damn busy up to yesterday night cramming for the diseases mid sem and my glaucoma seminar, whilst being damn sick. hope i get better...

guess i shall periodically update this when i think of more things that i want=]

• Puma Key high top sneakers in gold  - silver version here on sneakerfreaker.com: http://www.sneakerfreaker.com/sneaker-releases/Puma-Key-Metallic-Silver [OMG theyre in hype now...tempted to buy....] bought them!
• Onitsuka Tigers Saiko white/gold runners: http://www.eilatan.com/p-3318-asics-saiko-white-global.aspx got them!
• GHD pure or dark hair styler/straightener: http://www.ghdhair.com/dark-or-pure/darkorpure.php?cc=&od=de&domain=www.darkorpure.de&#
• Heroes box set season 1 + 2 [and eventually season 3 when it finishes, rofl!]

• BANC hoodies [korea exclusive-__-]  - REALLY want these>.<
  - 3 brothers white zip up: http://www.oops-mall.com/front/php/product.php?product_no=2471&main_cate_no=70&display_group=1
  - black monogram pattern zip up: http://www.wevestyle.com/ver2/menu/product/?menu=product_detail&pt_uid=1&pc_uid=4&pb_uid=9&p_uid=3287 [although i wouldnt mind the same one in a size S!!]
  - ooh this navy monogram zip up is nice too: http://www.wevestyle.com/ver2/menu/product/?menu=product_detail&pt_uid=1&pc_uid=4&pb_uid=9&p_uid=4930  

• engraved dogtags....ones with meaning...not just my name on them or sth...yeah always wanted some=]

• i realise nearly all the jewellry i wear is from one person and not really meaningful of any sort. kind of want a nice necklace i can wear..and never take off=]
  tiffanys anyone? haha: http://www.tiffany.com/Shopping/Item.aspx?sku=12492588&mcat=148204&cid=287465&search_params=s+5-p+55-c+287465-r+101323338-x+-n+6-ri+-ni+0-t+
  or mebbe: http://www.tiffany.com/Shopping/Item.aspx?sku=21638676&mcat=148204&cid=287465&search_params=s+5-p+11-c+287465-r+101323338-x+-n+6-ri+-ni+0-t+

• [bdae specific] book of memories/photos/msgs...memories are the best^^

• more MECCA cosmetics/facial/body products...DuWop/NARS/Stila/Prescriptives/M.D/Dermalogica /Dr Brandt[poreless range]....skin caree!

• Benefit cosmetics!!

• Country Road corporate wear + cardigans [love love their winter stufff!!!]:
  - true camel military trench [03 - LOVE this...should i get black instead?], black short sleeve ruffle top [24], cream/black long sleeve tie neck blouse [21/14]: http://www.countryroad.com.au/#/womenswear/urban_career/24
  - light parchment short sleeve print top [02], black lux cape [07], black stripe lux cardie [08]: http://www.countryroad.com.au/#/womenswear/casual/2

• Witchery corporate wear + bags=D :
  
• 10deep hoodies [america exclusive -___-] if someone can figure out where to buy a nice one from...http://www.nitrolicious.com/blog/2007/05/10/10deep-womens-hoodies-available-now/

• on a related note to the other sneakers, Hype has toooo many kicks i want-____- [size 8]:
  - Puma First Round in purple: http://www.sneakerfreaker.com/sneaker-releases/Puma-First-Round-Wmns/?style=17 [CANT BUY because the shape of the sneaker doesnt fit T___T noooooo]
  - Puma First Round in white/purple/fluro orange
  - Onitsuka Tigers + tokidoki Lawnship sneakers in Apple [first lot of Lawnship photos, white + green ], Onitsuka Tigers + tokidoki Lunetta flats in grey [first set of photos!]: http://www.nitrolicious.com/blog/2008/09/25/onitsuka-tiger-x-tokidoki-spring-2009-footwear-collection/
  - Puma Key in white/silver/blue: no link, but theyr available in hype. HOT!!!
  - Nike Womens 'Skinny Dunks' Butterfly design: http://www.nitrolicious.com/blog/2009/03/04/nike-wmns-skinny-dunk-butterflies/#more-18371 [update: now sold in hype!!! and i didnt think theyd be released in aus!]

• YesAsia goodies:
  Big Bang 2nd Concert DVD - the GREAT: http://www.yesasia.com/us/big-bang-2nd-live-concert-dvd-great/1010702650-0-0-0-en/info.html
  Khalil Fong Wonderland Live 2008 Concert [LOVE his voice]: http://www.yesasia.com/us/wonderland-live-2008-dvd-cd/1011400217-0-0-0-en/info.html
  Dong  Bang Shin Ki Wall Calendar 2009: http://www.yesasia.com/us/dong-bang-shin-ki-wall-calendar-2009-limited-edition/1013733454-0-0-0-en/info.html
  Dong Bang Shin Ki Desk Calendar 2009: http://www.yesasia.com/us/dong-bang-shin-ki-desk-calendar-2009-limited-edition/1013733453-0-0-0-en/info.html

• Harajuku Lovers perfume by Gwen Stefani: i want Music most of all, then G/Love/Lil Angel....i dont like Baby. smells old-___- http://scentaddicts.wordpress.com/2008/07/22/harajuku-lovers-perfume-by-gwen-stefani-coming-soon/
  on a similar note, Harajuku Lovers have some really cute threads^^ : http://www.harajukulovers.com/pl/c/11.html

• Lucite 'Label Whore' necklace [omg its so cute]: http://www.sassisam.com/product_info.php?product_id=126&cPath=3_34

• SuperDry hoodies!! omg theyr awesome=]

• black LEATHER hooded jacket zipup: http://store.missme.com/sj149black.html - OMG soo nice..i want one!!! or at least...something a bit cheaper=S
  - Wayne Cooper hooded jacket[NICE]: http://cgi.ebay.com.au/WAYNE-COOPER-LEATHER-JACKET-SIZE-10-BOMBER-STYLE-BNWT_W0QQitemZ180328022315QQihZ008QQcategoryZ167285QQssPageNameZWDVWQQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem

• Twilight series: i have Twilight already, need New Moon, Eclipse + Breaking Dawn=]

• Sakun hoodies [another korea exclusive brand-____- REALLY want this, 2ndary to the BANC hoodies]:
  http://shop.sakun.co.kr/ - Hood Piecetaker [black], Love Hood 8bit [black], Love Hood Sweet Candy [white]....sooo awesome!!!

• kit. cosmetics [love it!] - body products, etc: loving the skincare stuff there...need some kind of eye cream, i have massive dark circles....>.<...and stuff for combination skin....giving me problems...=[
  - Mario Badescu drying lotion: http://www.kitcosmetics.com.au/products/mario-badescu/skincare/drying-lotion
  - Mario Badescu silver powder: http://www.kitcosmetics.com.au/products/mario-badescu/skincare/silver-powder
  - Mario Badescu drying cream: http://www.kitcosmetics.com.au/products/mario-badescu/skincare/drying-cream
  - Mario Badescu anti-acne serum: http://www.kitcosmetics.com.au/products/mario-badescu/skincare/anti-acne-serum
  - Mario Badescu buffering lotion: http://www.kitcosmetics.com.au/products/mario-badescu/skincare/buffering-lotion
  - Mario Badescu acne repair kit [3-in-1! hehe]: http://www.kitcosmetics.com.au/products/mario-badescu/skincare/acne-repair-kit
  - Kit Pomegranate + Pink Grapefruit body scrub: http://www.kitcosmetics.com.au/products/kit-cosmetics/bodycare/pomegranate-and-pink-grapefruit-body-scrub
  - Archipelago Botanicals Soy Milk body creme: http://www.kitcosmetics.com.au/products/archipelago-botanicals/bodycare/soy-milk-body-creme
  - Archipelago Botanicals milk foot scrub: http://www.kitcosmetics.com.au/products/archipelago-botanicals/bodycare/milk-foot-scrub
  - Cosmedicine Primary Care Multitasking moisturiser: http://www.kitcosmetics.com.au/products/cosmedicine/skincare/primary-care-multi-tasking-moisturiser
  - Cosmedicine Medi-morphosis self-sdjusting exfoliator: http://www.kitcosmetics.com.au/products/cosmedicine/skincare/medi-morphosis-self-adjusting-exfoliator-125ml

• YSL Touche Eclat: http://shop.nordstrom.com/S/2797674/0~2377897~2377898~2379698~2381509~2381513?P=1

• Kiehl's scented lip balm [the ones in the tubes] in mango, cranberry or pear  [although i dont mind coconut or vanilla if the others arent available T__T]: http://www.kiehls.com/_us/_en/face/scented-lip-balm.htm

• new digital camera - i need an upgrade>.< thought of the SONY T700 but not sure due to reviews...anything better??

• 'WE ARE THE ABC CREW' trucker hat [ collab between Far East Movement x MC Jin x Subcrew - LOVE IT!!!!] in:
  -  white: http://www.districtlines.com/11623-ABC-Crew-Hat-Limited-Edition-white-Hat/Catch-Adventures
  - black: http://www.districtlines.com/11622-ABC-Crew-Hat-Black-SUBCREW-X-JIN-X-FM-T-Shirt/Catch-Adventures
  - alternate link: http://www.subcrewreact.com/store/index.php?page=shop.product_details&flypage=flypage_09SE.tpl&product_id=773&category_id=22&option=com_virtuemart&Itemid=1&vmcchk=1&Itemid=1

• Forever New cape coat in cream [or black? i dunno]: http://www.forevernew.com.au/collections

that is all for now. update later!

hrm.

urgh. there is a reason why i write, not talk to express myself. because it all comes out as waffle when i speak.sigh....video testimonial = EPIC FAILLL. talk about mincing my words....please dont laugh at me=[

church reunion tonight - it was pretty inspirational to hear the testimonials, and i have to say i could relate to mikes one. something inside me post-camp made me want to know more, to learn more, to speak volumes about it. i did quite a few readings through the week, annnd i was also wikipedia-ing things....and now i suppose i wasnt the only one tearing up during camp testimonials on the last day.

its strange. iv been trying to 'find' myself for years - hanging out with different people, changing my style, perhaps even my way of thinking to see where i fit in...after a while it becomes routine, hanging out with the same people even though u dont feel a part of them...guess that is partially where the emptyness stems from..

one thing iv noticed at ev is that everyone is so incredibly friendly + nice. for me, it was..and still is to an extent a very scary + intimidating thing to be in a room full of people i hardly know, and to be the one to start conversation + intro myself. times like these often incur a tremendous amount of willpower + a mental slap for me to open my mouth and not shrink into the corner. iv found iv not had to do that too many a time, which is....quite nice=]
its not that people such as this cannot be found outside of church, no. but it is really...soothing? to be in an enviroment where people encourage you to express yourself + support what you say. i dont think iv ever had that before...been in such an overtly positive enviroment.

one step closer to becoming a better person? i hope so...

evangelism + emancipation here we comee....

camp=]

so i didnt make a testimonial at camp because i knew i would probably start crying, so i thought i would write my thoughts about it here.

many people would question why i went to church camp - for the social reasons, or do i actually believe in religion?  to be honest,if i didnt believe i wouldv never considered going in the first place. i havent really mentioned it before, but i did used to go to church when i was a kid in adelaide, but when we moved to melbourne in '97 i stopped, because we didnt know where to go. i guess from this i developed...church-phobia, of some sort....didnt know where i would fit in, too afraid to go somewhere where i didnt know anyone and didnt know if i would fit in....i suppose i thought i had nothing to lose by going to give camp a try, either way.

thats where i come to a crossroad; to my non christian friends - who wonder why this pops up all of a sudden...and think i might become fanatical?...and the friends who have been christian for years...the amount of faith they have is so intimidating! and i would never be able to compare.

there was definitely a lot to comprehend; i tried to stay afloat as best as i could.

worship + prayer night on the saturday - im not sure what it was; the music, me just thinking abt recent personal problems i have been struggling with, and i just completely broke down + cried. so grateful for the people who came to me + gave me support...i was so surprised at the amount of people who were crying around me, but i guess it really goes to show how many ppl battle with their own problems...

its so crazy how the music can touch me like it does.

iv felt so long that there was something missing in life...i dont know why it feels so...empty, meaningless. hoping that if i give this a try...again. then i can understand myself and others better...i think all my wants are pretty self centred at the moment, but hopefully once i find myself. they wont have to be...